1. |
206
01:14
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2. |
Grandad's Birthday Party
02:50
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Drink that pint love
Take those pills son
It's grandad's birthday party (oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah)
Giz those poppers
I'm off my choppers
It's grandad's birthday party (get in, get in, get in)
Grandad what were those tablets that you gave me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a baby
It said they were intensive colon cleanse
Why did you take them
They looked like sweeties
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink
It's grandad's birthday party (oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah)
Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink
Drink those pills away
Nick that road sign
Skull that bag wine
Grandad's fucking wankered (oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah)
Steal that car exhaust
Fuck the police force
It's grandad's birthday party (get in, get in, get in)
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3. |
Craptain Doncaster
01:55
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I work really hard
A lot harder than you
I'm the best turf cutter in Yorkshire
I've done all the bowling greens
Completed all the jobs
I've got tennis elbow so you'll have to mow that lawn
I can't bend over so you'll have to do those jobs
I need to put some tools in my car and make a phone call
I'm the hardest worker in town I might have a quick nap
Them lot over there don't work half as hard as me
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4. |
Be Citrus Have Fun
02:13
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You are a lemon man
You have a yellow face
You smell like lemons man
You're a citrus disgrace
What a zesty lemon man
You will quench my thirst
Grate you onto a cake man
Squeeze you 'til you burst
Why don't you back off man
With your waxy face
I'll make you into a lemon meringue
And shoot you into space
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5. |
Fred's Song
03:20
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Would you like to take a seat ma'am
Can I get you some drinks
I'll be right back with a menu
And some bread (and some bread)
Didn't even see the menu
He didn't even get us drinks
Come to Fred's cafe
It's a nice cafe
It tastes really nice
It's reasonably priced
Come to Fred's cafe
It's a nice cafe
It's reasonably priced
It tastes very nice
Need to get the attention of the waiter (the waiter)
There's a hair in my food (waiter)
This is absolutely ridiculous (and disgusting)
You can't expect me to pay for that (no)
I don't know where he's gone
Someone's gonna get some abuse
Come to Fred's cafe
It's a nice cafe
It tastes really priced
It's reasonably nice
Come to Fred's cafe
It's a nice cafe
It's reasonably nice
It tastes really priced
Would you like to see the dessert menu
Some ice cream for the kids
No that's quite enough thank you (thank you)
Would you like to leave a tip (no)
Come to Fred's cafe
It is a cafe
It's not very nice
It's well overpriced
Come to Fred's cafe
It is a cafe
I'd give it a miss
It gave me the shits
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6. |
Darren
00:51
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Darren came round to my house last week
He said
I don't like your toilet seat
It's broken and smelly and doesn't fit my arsehole
Ye
Okay you've broken my toilet seat
I don't think that's very neat
I would appreciate it if you cleaned up after yourself
Man
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7. |
Gas Yourself
02:00
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Gas yourself
Fuck yourself
Gas yourself
Fuck
Gas yourself
Fuck yourself
Gas yourself
Gas yourself
Fuck
Gas
Fuck
Gas
Fuck
Gas yourself
Gas yourself
Eating mud
Every day
After work
Rolling around
On the floor
Gas yourself
Rolling around
Eating mud
Not knowing what's going on
Gas yourself
Gas yourself
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8. |
Hairy Humphrey
02:49
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Hairy Humphrey has a hairless heritage
He hears them howling hysterically at his hairy hardware
Hairy Humphrey had hardly half a head of hair
Hopping home hopeful his hammer is there
Really slowly
Like this
Hairy Humphrey
Slipped disc
Really slowly
Open the fridge
Hairy Humphrey
Wallow under the bridge
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9. |
Bein' in a Lift
03:59
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Weeee
Hello
It's me again
Hooray
Hope you had a nice week
Hope you did some
Good things
Now can you make me a pizza
Weeee
It's me again
I've come to see
How you're getting on
With my pizza
Why isn't it in the oven
Ah much better
Can you tell me how long it's going to be
Hello
It's me again
I've come to give you a thank you card
For your nice pizza
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10. |
Bus Stop
02:11
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It's a bit big this init
I think bus stops should have loads of glass on the floor
They're always better when they're like that you know
It just makes them seem more aesthetic
Because I think bus stops are a figment
I dunno I just really like bus stops
And I like to stare at buses
Because the thing about a double decker bus
Is that it's got two floors
And when you go upstairs you can go to the back
But if you go to the front you can see like absolutely everything
As you're driving past it makes you feel like a king
You know what I mean
But when you're on the bottom floor of the bus stop
Because usually that's where all the old people are
And sometimes it smells like prunes
But it also usually gets someone who's actually like batshit crazy
Yea n they might hit you
I remember this one guy like
I was on the way to college on the bus it was about 11 o clock
And every time he turned his head
His jaw would move first before his head had got there
I think he was on loads of drugs
The thing is with buses
Is I haven't been on all of them yet
And I'd really like to
Maybe one day
Go on a bendy bus
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11. |
10 Little Tissues
02:12
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10 little tissues to clean up the mess
Take one away and there's still loads of mess
9 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
8 little tissues to clean up the mess
Take one away and there's still loads of mess
7 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
6 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
5 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
4 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
3 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
2 little tissues to clean up the mess
Use one up and there's still loads of mess
1 little tissue to clean up the mess
Wipe it up and there's still loads of mess
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12. |
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Got some stinky brown town
Found in a compound
Only three tokes please
Of that lovely brown weed
Had it with pepsi
And some prime beef
What are you doing
Is that the police
See the light
Out the back window
It pulls up next to us
P O L I C E
Fucking fuck shit
My heart can't take this
I'm walking to the light boys
Don't worry I've got this
Excuse me officer
We're a little lost
I'm playing brown swiss
Would you like some of this
I don't mean to take the piss sir
I'm only chilling out
If you're looking for someone sketchy
You should check those guys out
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13. |
Fuc Of
01:35
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boop boop boop
BLEP BLEP
durr durr durr
FUCK OFF
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14. |
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15. |
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monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey
oo oo ah ah
oo oo ah ah
monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey
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16. |
Jay Ganjamin
02:34
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Jay Ganjamin
I'll be
Thirty minutes
Jay Ganjamin
Just wait for me
At the
Steelworks
I'm only round the corner
Five minutes max
Three hours later
I'm still waiting
I see his car
Sitting on his driveway
Still no answer at all
On the phone from him
And I ring
And ring
And ring
And ring
Thirty minutes mate
Max
I promise I'm on the way
Jay Ganjamin
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17. |
Brown Swiss
03:39
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Those big brown eyes
Staring into my mind
180 days
Screaming me teeth are full of grain
Get me out of this place
Let me fly around in deep space
Brown Swiss
Show me time from your perspective
I see your life
In a field over a mine
Under a staunt white pine
You will find the blinding white lights
Of my master's combine
Take me there
To see the sky again
And call out my name
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18. |
Techno Balby
01:03
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Techno Balby
Grandma's Jumper
Christmas Donkey
Techno Balby
Birthday Jesus
Christmas Donkey
Frosty Ankles
Spaceman Donkey
Monkey Monkey
Grandad Grandad
Techno Balby
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19. |
Jamsamich
03:04
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Open my eyes
I hear a figure breathing
Look at the foot of my bed
He stands there and stares in
Jamsamich
I want it
I need it
Give one to me right now
I try to scream and
You can't no
Jamsamich
Give it me now
Jamsamich
Down the stairs
I see my feet trembling
Water smashing up the
The walls and the staircase
Jamsamich
Give it me now
Jamsamich
Down the stairs
Jamsamich
I can't escape
This fate that I am in
The water tears me
Limb from limb
Jamsamich
Please release me
From the darkest dreams
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20. |
Wugidoo feat. Max Bowker
03:41
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Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Brian pulled out driveway
And hit a tree
He thought he was stuck there
So he gave it the beans
His wife ran out the doorway
And saw the dog in three
She said
Right that's it I want a divorce now
The kids are coming with me
Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Wugidoo
Brian showed up late to work
Boss said you've got the sack
He drove home in a puddle of tears
And found out he'd been locked out the house
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21. |
Kyle's Lament
04:20
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Please leave this place Kyle
You are not wanted anymore
You're ruining our vibe
Your prowess is forgotten
I cast you out
Do not come back here
Please leave this place
Before I have to force you
We've found someone better
To write our songs
Leave, leave, leave...
Kyle
You should leave our abode
You leave me with no choice
Leave, leave, leave...
L E A V E
Throw him out the door
Throw him away
Leave
You know too much Kyle
We can't have our secrets
Flying out the door
Get the rope
Tie him down
We will see
What's inside
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22. |
R e a l S m o o t h
01:51
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[redacted]
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23. |
Morning is Broken
03:13
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Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
Sweet the rains new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
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Binky Doncaster, UK
yeah me
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