1. |
Killing Santa
04:02
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I'm sitting here
At the bottom of the fireplace
Waiting for Santa
With my ebay penknife
I'm gonna wait 'til I can hear him
And turn the fire on
Chuck in a firework
Blow his legs off
We're gonna kill
Father Christmas
I don't want him breaking into my house
And stuffing my stocking
We're gonna get him
When he least expects it
An arsenic mince pie
Pop him twice
My granny told me
Leave a carrot for the reindeer
So I swapped it
For a stick of dynamite
He'll never see us coming
'Cause we're on the nice list
We're gonna be naughty
And empty his sack for him
Pocket penknife
Carrot Dynamite
Pop him twice
Killing Santa
I don't care
We don't accept door to door salesmen
We're gonna kill
Father Christmas
I don't want him breaking into my house
And stuffing my stocking
We're gonna get him
When he least expects it
An arsenic mince pie
And some carrot dynamite
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2. |
Happy Hour
04:20
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Cherry lollipop?
Check
Bandage on knee?
Check
Bagwine?
Check
Bread on the passenger seat?
Check
Whiskey?
Check
Disposable nappies?
Check
Driver's license?
Check
Brake lights?
It'll do
I'm in the car with all my friends
Driving my dad's Mercedes-Benz
Went straight through my neighbours fence
Didn't see that massive bend
I'm in the car with all my friends
Driving my dad's Mercedes-Benz
Went straight through my neighbours house
Parked in the middle of the lounge
I've had too much to drink
I need more alcohol, I don't know
Eat some bread mate
You're driving us home right?
Which one of you has the fucking steering wheel?
I've had enough to drink
I've left my Lucozade out the window
Are we there yet?
Don't get upset
I think I've thrown up on the shitting belt buckle
I'm in the car with all my friends
Driving my dad's Mercedes-Benz
Went straight through my neighbours fence
Didn't see that massive bend
I'm in the car with all my friends
Driving my dad's Mercedes-Benz
Went straight through my neighbours house
Parked in the middle of the lounge
You've killed my cat
Smashed up my gaff
Why is there bagwine everywhere?
And bread on the stairs
Sorry wrong house
I meant next door
My mates really hungry
That's what the food is for
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3. |
Goose
02:08
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You don't scare me
I see you standing over there
Ah fuck there's two of you
Okay this sort of changes things
Look I don't mean to hurt you (would you like to meet my goose sir)
Please leave me alone (I'll give you him for five pounds sir)
I'll turn and go the other way (It's a lot cheaper than a moose sir)
I don't want any trouble
Hopeless
Wandering
Home from
The pub late at night
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4. |
Kebab
01:24
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Binky Doncaster, UK
yeah me
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